Dead Rising 3: Don Patch Edition
by SuperLuxray
Summary: The Lost Peridodos has a outbreak after 3 days, and the mystery still remains. Join Don Patch as Nick to get out of the city in 6 days while dealing with zombies, super zombies, military, psychopaths and more. All the comedy and more, this adventure will take Don Patch for a new ride. Don Patch's version of the Dead Rising 3.


Dead Rising 3: Don Patch Edition  
Don Patch, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo Series © Sawai  
Dead Rising 3 © Kenji Infanune

**12 Hours Before the Outbreak  
The Past 12 Hours were as normal as ever but something happened  
24 Hours Before the Outbreak  
After a day everything changed, people were turned into zooommbieees  
36 Hours Before the Outbreak  
Rapidly a high order of zombies starts eating people, turning into one of them, everything went crazy.  
48 Hours before the Outbreak  
Everything went insane as the many survivors starts looking for safe-zones while looking for some help from the government.  
60 Hours before the Outbreak  
Now everything went bat-shit crazy as the survivors were rapidly decreasing, because maybe either they were stupid and got themselves eaten or they didn't predict that the city would be its next target and suddenly give in to the zombies. Oh crap! The zombies are breaking in! Someone help me! If anyone read this, tell my Girlfriend that I LOVVVVVE HERRRRRR! ARGHHHH! Then a radio went static.**

**72 Hours After the Outbreak**

On a bridge outside the city where it has a quarantine area, cars were abandoned, and corpses were either on the ground or in their vehicles. A Wasp in on a corpse's mouth until it flies away. A Hand appeared as it lifts itself, then footsteps is heard, then a voice is heard, "I gotta find a way out or we'll all gonna die, and I won't get my dream of having my kiss in an outbreak."

The man or rather the orange sun opens a trunk of an abandoned car, he has a blue mechanic outfit where his nickname is called Nick as the man "Nick" rubs his neck as he finds nothing.

"Damn, no supplies. Well, it seems like I gotta look at this quarantine station to look for supplies." said the Orange Sun as he stares at the quarantine station. He lifts himself up in a wall and lands in the ground, panting for some food, our favorite psychopathic hero Don Patch prepares himself for the worse. He complained, "I don't know why I've volunteered for this but after this, I better get my present."

He starts walking, while rubbing his stomach, hungry for some food. His panting made him even hungrier as he thinks about food, and refreshments. He found a bag of snacks at the table. The Sun ran to it and eats the snack without even opening it.

"I need more." He tries looking for more as he found a bagel, grabs it, and eats it. "Ah yes, Good, good Bagel!" He said as he rubs his stomach in relief. Don Patch continues walking until he stops and stares at a gate.

_Oh great, a gate. Now what do I have to do. Maybe…just maybe… I need a weapon. _Don Patch thought as he looks down and sees a wrench. He picks it up and starts swinging at the gate with his amazing strength as the gate breaks. He continues on his search for supplies as he finds another gate and breaks it by using three direct, and indirect heavy swings at the gate. Don Patch observes the area, acquires a flashlight from a crate and continues strolling in this medical area. He found several supplies that he picked up that was on the floor. He moves the flashlight to the important spots of it but found nothing as he continues his stroll of the quarantine zone. In the medical tent, the room is full of corpses that rot its flesh. A Noise is heard as Don Patch moves his flashlight to a gate and it was…a zombie as it growls at Don Patch!

"JESUS, MOTHER OF CHRIST, IT'S A ZOMBIE!" Don Patch screamed as he jumps for a bit and accidentally activated the generator and turned on the lights. What he saw was immense hoard of zombies as they saw him as flesh and starts banging on the gates, wanting to rip out Don Patch's orange flesh.

Feeling a bit of fright, Don Patch must move on as he starts getting in the tunnel as many zombies starts getting out of control as they're growling and screaming for Don Patch as he moves through the tunnel. He gets out of the tunnel and sees stranded zombies lurking through the area. They spotted Don Patch and starts lurking towards him. He prepares his Large Wretch and proceeds to charge at the zombie.

Don Patch starts launching a direct swing at a zombie, and then kicks the zombie upward in the air as it crashes in the ground. He then backswing a zombie behind him and headbutts it, sending it flying to the gate. The Sun ran while stepping on the zombie's head, instantly killing it. Now Don Patch made it to the end of the quarantine zone, but instead the end of it is blocked. He got mad and slams his Large Wretch to the ground.

"FUCK! AFTER ALL OF THIS, IT GETS BLOCKED! THAT TERROIST WILL PAY FOR THIS! I SWEAR!" Don Patch yelled but he calmed down. "It seems like I better tell the others." Now he goes back to the tunnel and proceeds to stroll through it. While he's strolling through the tunnel, a prisoner zombie looks at him and knocks down the gate as Don Patch turns around and sighted it.

"No! No! No! No! No-no-no-no-no-no-no!" shouted Don Patch while he ran back to the medical tent, then back at the entrance as he climbs the wall and lands to the ground. He sighs in relief until his relief turns back to shock as he spots multiple zombies getting up from their presumed zombification.

"Oh shit…" said Don Patch as a cop zombie gets up too. "Oh god, the zombie Po-Po!" He saw an opening to the freeway and starts running and jumps but the rail gets in his way and falls to the ground. As he starts being unconscious for a sec until he is conscious enough to get up. He turns around and sights the zombies falling to the ground.

Finally, Don Patch screamed, "Come on! You zombies are the worst! It's not like a plane is gonna fall to the ground is going to get your attention!" Don Patch finally have his answer as he stared at something with awe, making the zombies turns and looks at something.

A Plane comes heading down to the freeway, signaling Don Patch to run like hell as he sprints like the wind, and hides under the car as the plane crashes to the freeway destroying the quarantine station, the highway, and also including the freeway. Inside the plane, it is shown that people are getting eaten by zombies in the plane, including the staff too. Turning the tables to the devastating outbreak today…

**Dead Rising 3: Don Patch Edition**

In the destroyed Freeway where everything was obliterated, including the remains of the plane, zombies have survived the crash and are lurking the destroyed freeway. The Plane's engine is still on as the zombies mindlessly getting chopped by the giant fans.

Don Patch, who miraculously survived the crash, is covering his ears for protection of the noise, as he stops doing that and stares at the destroyed freeway. He exclaimed, "Now there's something you haven't seen everyday. Well, time to chop the rising dead in the morning!" as he grabs his Large Wrench and stares at the hoard of zombies, "I gotta get back to the others!" He starts dashing to the safe house, but then swings his wretch at some zombies. He does a spinning swing at a couple of zombies. He forcefully swings downward to a zombie's abdomen and bashes the zombie's head. He spots the plane and complained, "Fuck! That's the only way back!" As he starts swinging his way to the Diner, killing zombies along the way, he gets inside the destroyed plane and starts messing up zombies some more with his Large Wrench. "Messed up!" He head butts a zombie that sends it flying to the sky. And then he backswings a zombie and sends to the sharp part of the plane as it pierces the zombie's abdomen.

He arrives to the end of the ruined plane, but his relief turned into shock as he has sight the massive hoard of zombies.

"FUCK! DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING IN THIS SHIT?!" shouted Don Patch as he jumps to a car. The zombies eye at him and starts going after him but its invalid. Don Patch has made a plan as he starts jumping car to car as he thought that the zombies can't get him but his thoughts were wrong as some of zombies may have got up of the car.

"They're….learning…." said Don Patch eerily but continues to head left. Something just exploded but Don Patch paid no mind to it as he starts going to the darkness under the bridge as he continues his way of abandoned and destroyed cars, small hoards of zombies. He's arrived at a tunnel and starts heading down to a secret path to the Diner. He saw a hoard of zombies but they didn't cross the half bridge and instead fell to their brethren.

"What can I say, zombies are stupid." said Don Patch while shrugging his shoulders. He continues on the path until he spots light and finally he made to the Diner. He stops at the entrance as Patches and yells, "Hey Mama Rhonda! Let me in now! The zombies are gonna get me, please don't let your only daughter be eaten by those dirty, dirty zombies!" He reverts back to himself as Rhonda signals Don Patch to get in the Diner as he quickly gets in as Rhonda quickly shuts the door.

Rhonda complained, "Jesus Christ, what the hell was that? Like we don't have enough problems already!" Don Patch catches his breath and sits down with an Illegal girl named Annie.

"You okay, Nick?" asked Annie smooth and calmly as she is sitting on a stool. Don Patch felt a rush of seeing Annie.

In his daydream, he is thinking about taking Annie on a cruise, then at a dance party, they danced, then Don Patch kisses Annie in his dreams.

Now in Reality, Don Patch dreamily greets, "Hey Annie."

"Thought you guys were goners." said Annie, "You find anything? Maybe some food or a gun?"

Now a guy named Dick appears bringing a sledgehammer, and gives it to Don Patch. "I found this out there, it might be useful."

"Thanks, Dick!" said Don Patch cheerily. "Now thanks to this, we'll we're really gonna bring these zombies down…Dick!" as he laughs half-heartedly. "I'm sorry; your name…is too much for me to take. I'll stop." He turns to stare at Annie.

"I got to get out of here, man." complained Annie.

Don Patch suggested, "You got a family to get back to? Parents?"

Annie's Watch beeped as she knows what to do. She pulls out a Zombrex syringe and jams it into her leg, and pushes the button, making Don Patch really scared out of panic.

"Is that your last dose?" said Don Patch quickly, currently thinking that he might lose his first love. "Holy shit, we're almost out of everything!"

Rhonda then replies, "Hah! You know, if your kind just got Zombrex-chipped like responsible citizens, we might not be in this mess."

Then Annie suggests, "These people are tracked by GPS. They're prisoners."

Now Rhonda starts yelling, "They're following the law! These GPS chips have Zombrex in 'em! They keep infected people from turning zombies!

Now Annie sarcastically remarked, "Oh really? Must not have worked too well – look outside!"

"You Illegals are nothing but trouble!" yelled Rhonda.

A Guy named Peter starts requested in a panicking manner, "Will you bitches shut up? They're gonna hear us!"

Dick suggested, "You know why don't you calm the hell down, asshole? As long as they're outside, we got nothing to worry about." As he leans toward the jukebox and accidentally activates it, and playing heavy metal.

Don Patch got frantically panicked and charges towards the jukebox. "TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT THE FUCK OFF!" He grabs the Sledgehammer and starts banging the jukebox comically by smashing the jukebox with a crazed look on his face. Then he grabs matches and burns the jukebox. "BURN! BURN YOU ZOMBIE KATNIP OF MUSIC!" He calms down after that but his calm demeanor has run out because the zombies have heard it and starts heading towards the diner's windows.

Peter's Mother screamed, "God, no! I don't want to die!"

As Peter approaches his mother to calm her down, and calmed her, "No, no, no, no, Mother. It'll be alright, okay? Okay? I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

As his mother peacefully but sadly commented, "Oh Peter, I'm so scared."

Peter observes outside as he panics too much, "Oh my god, look at that one!"

He observes a zombie cop as its shooting his gun sluggishly around the area. "It's like it knows something about when it was alive."

Losing her mind, Peter's Mother frantically approaches the door, "We are all going to die!"

Rhonda saw the mother opening the door and screamed, "NO!"

"No mother! Don't open the door! Don't go out there!" screamed Peter as he saw his mother being eaten by zombies, now stiff, leaving him very vulnerable to the zombies as he tries to defend himself from a zombie's gaping jaw but it's too late, now zombies are eating Peter, killing him instantly as Rhonda quickly shuts the door as the four people saw the two's inevitable death. As Dick spots an intestine, and he commented, "Jesus!" and threw up on the floor.

Now Zombies are banging on the windows as Don Patch eyed at them, and sighs.

"Why the fuck does this shit happens to me?!" exclaimed Don Patch.

Rhonda announced in an attempted calm demeanor, "Okay, everybody! Ger ready to run!"

Dick asked, "I mean, where the hell are we gonna go?!"

"My garage! In Ingleton. The walls will break. It will buy us some time to think. Maybe the TV'll work." explained Rhonda.

"If we have to get out of here, that's fine. But I am not going to any garage!" said Annie. "People are waiting for me."

Rhonda remarked in a stern voice, "Girlie, you're better off without us."

Annie grabs the bat and replied, "I'll take my chances." She goes out the door as Don Patch called out to her, "ANNIE! NOOOOOO!"

He barked at Rhonda with his eyes no pupils and have shark teeth, "MAMA RHONDA! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?!"

"Nick, I am not discussing that topic again! She's gone out on her own. It's Do or Die!" replied Rhonda.

"Oh, it's Do or die alright. It's Me Doing Annie as my dream to bang Annie in an outbreak or Die if I don't complete my dream and be eaten by zombies, Mama Rhonda! Oh yes, I am thinking about DO OR DIE RIGHT NOW!" explained Don Patch in a crazed way as possible as Rhonda stares at Don Patch.

"Are you done?" asked Rhonda.

"Yes." answered Don Patch. "So what do we have to do now?!"

"Nick, those zombies are gonna get in here any second, we gotta do something!" exclaimed Rhonda.

"Okay! Okay! Okay! Let's see!" said Don Patch while thinking of a plan quickly.

_Alright, zombies means brains and they want our brains right now. First, a weapon to kill zombie by either bash or shoot them on the head. Or maybe use Mama Rhonda's Boobs.. boobies… to distract the zombies, then I kill them using my weapon and we'll get out of here all in one piece. _He thought that in a proud manner as he starts explaining the plan to Rhonda.

"Nick, that won't work! Do you seriously think that zombies have a thing for breasts, what kind of idiot would do that?!" exclaimed Rhonda as Don Patch stares at her and slowly said, "Yeah, what kind…" As he pushes away a stack of Nasty Videos, and continues to stare at her, he said, "There's nothing to fight them with?!"

Rhonda suggested, "You're good at fixing things. There's a ton of stuff around here."

Don Patch looks at the sledgehammer and said, "Let me see if I can get something useful!"

Don Patch starts looking around as he acquires the sledgehammer in his inventory, and then he acquires a Cement Saw. He thought, _This would work. This could totally work!_

He then starts crafting by combining things together in his inventory and finally creates a combo weapon called the Sledge Saw.

"Alright, time to Rock!" shouted Don Patch.

"Nice work, Honey, now get ready to run!" ordered Rhonda.

Don Patch answered, "Got it, Mama Rhonda!" He announced Rhonda and Dick, "Okay, everyone! We gotta leave trough the back door. There's gotta be less zombies back there. So let's get to it."

The three heads to the back door as Don Patch bashes the door with his head and starts swing the end of the hammer at a zombie and bashes its body in half. Then uses the end of the Saw to slice a zombie into two. He spins the Sledge Saw around and cuts the zombies in half. He swings the end of the Sledge Saw's solid steel hammer around to a zombie which sends it to the wall, splattered blood.

"There's the car! Everyone get it!" said Don Patch as he smoothly gets in the car as the others followed him to get in the car. He starts it and starts ramming over a massive hoard of zombies. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY! YOU DIRTY ZOMBIES!" As he continues to drive to the waypoint as possible, now some of the zombies have got holding themselves to the car, as one starts getting close to Don Patch but he smashes it with his Sledge Saw on the end of the sledge hammer. Suddenly Don Patch starts using his feet as hands to holding the steering wheel but that's isn't working.

"My Pop told me that driving a vehicle with feet can help ya prevent accidents." said Don Patch as an old man.

Rhonda screamed, "Nick, now's not the time for one of your crazy methods! Just get to the garage!"

"Don't worry, Mama. I'm as safe as I could be." As he turns left and drives under the bridge, he saw a couple of cars blocking his way, but he looks to the right and saw a person yelling for help. "Look there's still people looking for help!" As he proceeds to clear those zombies around him, he rams those zombies and send them flying and got out the car and proceeds to hit them with his Sledge Saw. He spins his weapon and bashes a zombie's head. He saws another zombie in half. And then he slams the zombie with the Sledge Saw. He bashes the zombie's head and proceeds to clear the rest of the zombies.

"Thanks man, I thought I was a goner." said the Man as he proceeds to run away. Don Patch called out, "No problem! I'm glad to help!"

The crew gets in the car and Don Patch continues to drive to the garage but instead he finds another survivor defending himself from the zombies. He gets out of the car and advised, "Let me take care of this." And starts heading to the hoard of zombies and backswings a zombie, sending it flying to the other zombie. He steps on their heads for good measure. He swings his Sledge Saw at a zombie and sends it flying to its death. He spins to slice the zombies in half, spilling out their intestines. He kicks a zombie out of here and then smashes a zombie's head in pieces with the end of the Sledge Saw.

"Get out of here, and whatever you see them, don't look back, just run, run and get a good life ahead of you! JUST GO!" shouted Don Patch as he's done dealing with the zombies.

"Thanks, man. I owe you my life." Said the Male Survivor as he runs away to get safety. Don Patch gets back to the car and starts driving to the garage. Right now, he sees a hoard of zombies as he rams through them but instead he sighted a rock, shrugs and proceeds to drive until the tire touches the rock, the car immediately flips, as the crew were screaming out of their lives!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The Crew screamed as the car rolls to the wall of Rhonda's Garage. Don Patch is the first to get out as he gets the others out as he spots other zombies running at him. Immediately, the crew goes inside the garage, with Rhonda was the first, Don Patch the second, and Dick the third as he closes the door while looking to see if one of the zombies is left.

"Oh! I thought we weren't gonna make it." said Rhonda as she takes a breather, "The Whole City is screwed!"

"Heh, keep telling yourself that, the city is screwed before all of this happens. I mean, why the hell the government even knows that the outbreak is going on. I think that god might have something to do with this." explained Don Patch.

The Female Mechanic is looking at Don Patch strangely. "Nick, what are you talking about?" asked Rhonda.

"I was just saying, maybe someone should have told the people what was going on or before something gone insane." Don Patch replied while about to go to the garage. "So where's the food, I'm hungr- SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS!" He yelled while a zombie appears, and coming straight for him until Rhonda found a wrench and shoves it through the head of the zombie and out the chin. The zombie, mortally wounded, falls to the ground.

"Search everywhere, make sure that none of them are here." ordered Rhonda as Dick starts searching the garage for more zombies.

In the garage, Rhonda attempts to switch channels but the TV isn't responding. "Damn! The TV's not working again. I gotta mess with the wires, probably gonna take me a couple of hours."

"Fuck!" shouted Don Patch as he sighs and sits. "What am I gonna do then?!"

"You could go out there and try to search for something while I'm messing with the wires." Rhonda suggested while she's twiddling the wires.

Don Patch's eyes widen as he says, "You mean I can go out there, just slaying zombies just to relieve boredom." His eyes blinked a few times, then he turned happy and replied, "Then I'll go do that! YAY!" He goes out of the garage but he stops for a sec and found a futuristic walkie talkie. He pushes a button and said, "Hello! Hello!" He didn't hear nothing and he attempts to speak again, "HEY ASSHOLE, IF YOU CAN HEAR, THEN DON'T BE A DICK ABOUT IT!"

"Alright, alright! So hey! Name's Jamie. I've been running from those zombies and luckily, I've found a surveillance room that belong to the ZDC. And now I'm hiding with so much food and beer and also listening music for the 2000's.

"I want to join your place!" said Don Patch. "Please, tell me your location, and I'll stop by immediately!"

"But here's the thing, the door's locked and I can't find the key. I do see a couple of survivors waiting to be rescued. So I want you to rescue those survivors and I may consider of inviting you to the surveillance room." said Jamie.

"Alright! I'll do it!" said Don Patch, he puts down the walkie-talkie and gets of the garage. He starts walking but the device rings as he pushed the button and said, "Already! Damn, Jamie what is it?!"

"There's an Illegal spraying something on the wall. Think you could check it out." Asked Jamie.

"Fine! I'll make it quick tho!" said Don Patch as he puts down the Walkie Talkie. Well…this could become my biggest day in the outbreak!"

He starts readying his Sledge Saw, picks up a bagel and an apple. And he starts traveling for a few hours until Rhonda is done with the wires.

_Narration_

_And This is how I begin my adventure, slaying zombies and crushing souls! But I wish…there's something I could do in this outbreak. Something I'll never encounter before. About time I found out, with my 'Innocent' eyes._

**Dead Rising 3: Don Patch Edition!**

End of Part 0: The Beginning


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